My mum always says I should love myself. At first I thought that was kind of embarrassing to talk about. Like, it sounded like something you'd put on a motivational poster in a dentist's waiting room. But then she asked me to actually write a list. Like — for real, write down ten things you love about yourself. And at first I had nothing. And then I started writing. And you know what? The list got really long.
Here's my top ten. The real ones.
1. My Hair
My hair is incredible. It is THICK. When it's in puffs it bounces. When my auntie braids it, it takes three hours and we talk the whole time and eat snacks and it's one of my favourite things. I used to be embarrassed about how long it takes. Now I think it's part of what makes it special.
2. My Laugh
My laugh is loud. Like, LOUD loud. My teacher once said "Olamide, we can always hear when you're having fun" and I think she meant it as a gentle hint but honestly? I'm keeping it. A big laugh means you really thought something was funny. I refuse to have a small laugh.
3. How I Think
I ask a LOT of questions. My teachers know this about me. My family knows this. I just need to understand WHY things are the way they are. My dad says curiosity is a superpower. My teacher says it makes me a strong critical thinker. I think it just means I find the world really interesting, which seems like a good thing.
4. My Skin
My skin is this rich, dark, beautiful brown. I spent a long time wishing it was lighter because of things people said when I was little. I am so glad I stopped wishing that. My skin is genuinely beautiful. I look at my arm sometimes and I think — wow. That's a gorgeous colour. That's me.
5. My Family
My family is big and loud and always in each other's business and full of opinions and absolutely overwhelming in the best way possible. We have a WhatsApp group with forty-seven people in it. Every birthday is a full production. I love them so much it's almost embarrassing.
6. My Imagination
I make up stories ALL the time. I have five notebooks full of characters and worlds and situations that don't exist yet. Our Pocketlings doll Olabisi has had more adventures in my head than most actual fictional heroes have in their whole books. My imagination is my favourite place to live.
7. That I'm Brave Even When I'm Scared
I sang a solo in the school concert last year. I was absolutely terrified. I practiced for weeks. When I got on stage my legs felt like water. But I did it. And then I cried afterwards in the best way. I do things even when I'm scared. That, I think, is one of the best things about me.
8. The Way I Care About My Friends
When my friends are sad, I feel it. When something good happens to them, I am genuinely happy and not even a little bit jealous. I remember the details they've told me about their lives. I show up. I think being a good friend is one of the most important things you can be.
9. My Name
Olamide means "my honour has arrived." My parents chose that for me. Every time someone says my name, they are saying "your honour is here." How beautiful is that? I used to wish I had a simpler name that people could say correctly without asking. Now I would not trade it for anything.
10. That I'm Still Figuring Things Out
I don't have everything worked out yet. I don't know exactly who I'm going to be. And I've decided that this is not a problem — it's an adventure. There's so much still to discover about myself. That's exciting. That's something to love.
You should make your own list. I'm serious. Get a notebook, find ten things, and really think about them. It feels silly at first. Then it doesn't. Then you realise you have more than ten and you have to choose.
That's a very good problem to have.